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Girls Gone Wild Blog

Faux Outrage Over Spring Break

Sean Hannity of Fox news has been trying to expose the “secrets” of Spring Break. This could be an interesting news topic if there were any secrets that needed to be exposed. There is no secret to Spring Breaks. We should know; we have been filming them for years. It’s no surprise to anyone that students get wild when they go on vacation.

No matter what he may have been looking for, Jon Stewart of the Daily Show thoroughly picks apart Sean Hannity’s “investigation” of Spring Break. We always felt that Spring Break was more than that time between winter finals and start of spring semesters; it is a quintessential college experience. Even the reporters vividly recounted their crazy Spring Break experiences. You gotta watch this! It’s the most hilarious thing you’ll see today. Thank you Jon Stewart. Thank you.

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The First Parody – Make it stop. Please

This is the fastest parody turn around we have ever seen. This video came out only two days after The First kiss video. Now this is the first parody GGW saw. Since then there have been many, many more. We’ll be honest with you. We have not even watched half of these. What is impressive to us is the sheer number. The First Kiss video was uploaded only 7 days ago. The turn around on these videos is incredible.

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The Day the Earth Stopped Masturbating

This French trailer from Golden Mustache is amazing. The premise is this; every time a man masturbates another man dies. The government is forced to put a masturbation ban into effect. The trailer for this fake movie is perfect.

Could you imagine what a world that had a masturbation ban would be like? Besides guys hitting on every girl in sight, I think productivity would skyrocket. We would all have jetpacks before the week was out. It is that or war. The only other option would have to be war; one side could not just try and out masturbate the other side. I assume it kills just a random man. There would be no way to control the casualties. I prefer to think we would focus on productivity to vent our frustrations.

Either way, I am glad that we are free to get off to our hearts content and watch all the porn we want.

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5 Last Minute Valentine’s Day Ideas

If you are reading this guess what. You screwed up, it is Feb 13th and you forgot about Valentine’s Day. Never fear! There are still things you can do to pretend that you remembered Valentine’s Day.

5. Make a home cooked meal.

Now in a pinch like this I recommend cooking with a crock pot. It is nearly impossible to screw up, you start it before you leave for work and let it run all day. Not only does your kitchen smell delicious. The food comes out soft tender and juicy with nearly no effort.

This Pot Roast or this Cheesy Chicken recipe are going to score big points.

You get home; you plate it and serve it. Fancy dinner – Check

From there on out it is just a matter of atmosphere. Set up a table cloth; get a candle, whatever to set a romantic mood for you. Then after dinner put on that romantic comedy you rented. Congratulations Valentine’s Day saved.

4. Go for a hike / picnic

Nothing is romantic like the outdoors. Fresh air and no need to make a reservation to walk up a hill. Grab some wine, a blanket, some food, and on your way you go. Make sure it is all packed before she sees. That way each goodie you pull out of your basket looks like you planned ahead. Remember to check the sunset times in your area for that extra special romance. Not sure what time sunset it? We got you covered.

3. Origami Flowers

You might not have time to get her real flowers. Break out those arts and crafts skills. Origami is a great way to show your “sensitive” side. It is cheap, it is doable in case you cannot get real flowers in time and most importantly you only need one. Pick one from here and make sure you make it perfect.

Remember to deliver the flower with this line. “I just wanted to show this flower how pretty you are”

Enjoy getting laid for rest of night. Crisis Averted.

2. Go out

Depending on how long you have been going out formulate a plan.
Dating for 2 weeks? Valentine’s Day should not be such a big deal, maybe just catch a movie. Two weeks is not usually enough for people to go all out for Valentine’s Day

Dating for 2 months? That’s enough time to hit a bar get some drinks and party it up. You are still getting to know each other, be fun and intimate. Of course it wholly depends on your partner but you should have an idea of what kind of activities they enjoy. Maybe they don’t like bars and would prefer a nice museum or a walk around the park. Just make sure you are out and about.

6 months or more is a dangerous position to be in and forget V-Day. This might be a good time to pull the nostalgia card. It is a gamble but you are running out of options. Try and visit the place where you first met. Make sure it is not closed or out of business before you get there. Nothing hurts a relationship like the bankruptcy of your first meeting spot. Especially if you find out it closed down on Valentine’s Day. Finding out on Valentine’s Day makes it a bad omen; however, if it is open it becomes a good omen of a lasting relationship. Once you are there stroll around reminisce.

Going out without a real solid plan is risky business, but, it is far less risky than staying home with nothing.

1. Last Resort

God Speed.
Better get a membership this Valentine’s

Written by Jason Wilson
This article does not necessarily represent the views of Girls Gone Wild.

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FOX News Live & Two Party Girls on NYE

FOX News sent a reporter to do live interviews on New Years Eve with the wild people of Miami, where last call is at 7am. It did not go as they planned.

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Brazilian Girl Catarina Migliorini Auctions Off Her Virginity AGAIN, Expects $1.5 Million

When she tried to auction off her virginity, a sexy Brazilian girl named Catarina Migliorini briefly enjoyed her 15 minutes of fame in 2012. The highest bid was $780,000, placed anonymously on a website set up by the documentary’s director. Not surprisingly, the highest bidder lied about his age, turning out to be a 21 year old guy instead of a 53 year old Japanese millionaire as claimed. Catarina refused to go through with the transaction, so she’s trying to auction off her virginity again. This time around, she’s doing it all by herself and has set up a website to accept bids. As a model who poses for Playboy Brazil, Catarina is nothing short of beautiful and elegant. That’s why she claims she expects to accept a bid of at least $1.5 million for her to give up her first time having sex, and she’s willing to accept male or female buyers. As ruthlessly capitalistic as this all sounds, you have to admit the story is interesting and we’re going to check to see how the tale of her virginity sale unfolds. Or, unbuttons. Until then, enjoy some of her sexy pictures here.

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