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Girls Gone Wild Blog

A FIELD GUIDE TO COLLEGE GIRLS

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Ask any guy over 30 about his college days and you’ll hear the same story: he regrets that he didn’t play the field more. He’ll insist you should sample a smorgasbord of college chicks. He’s right, but where to begin? Sometimes it’s obvious which girls you should pursue, like the hotties who were repressed in high school and are now cutting loose. But some potential hookups are not so obvious. We’ve compiled a handy guide to help point you in the right direction. Read More….

 

THE TRANSFER STUDENT
She’s a fresh and perky beauty from Oklahoma, Iowa or Ohio who is so incredibly friendly it makes you want to cry. She may be naive in bed, but she’s enthusiastic and adorable when she looks up at you with those big blue eyes while tonguing your shaft. Snatch her up FAST before she finds her way to the Girls Gone Wild offices and appears on the cover of this magazine.

 

THE ALCOHOLIC PARTY GIRL
Your partner in crime. She’ll keep up with you all night whether you’re drinking beer, shots, or more beer. Somehow, she doesn’t get sick like the other girls, perhaps because she’s been boozing since 4th grade. She claims to enjoy anal but you’re never sober enough to stick it in, so most nights her wonderfully sloppy blowjobs are the last thing you remember. Unfortunately, she will drop out during winter break, after accidentally sleeping with your roommate.

 

THE ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVIST
She speaks on behalf of animals who can’t speak for themselves, which is most of them except the ones in cartoons. To seduce this girl, pretend your uncle takes you on hunting trips every November. Allow her to passionately persuade you that this is wrong. It’s worth it just to be able to say you went down on a girl who doesn’t shave her muff.

 

THE STRIPPER
She is extremely ambitious and instead of racking up student loans, she is putting herself through college by dancing topless at an upscale gentlemen’sclub. She’s devoted to her studies, but every now and then she wants to have some fun. Her idea of fun is jumping out of an airplane or zip-lining across the GrandCanyon. Think of her as a high-risk investment that could yield huge returns or ruin you forever.

 

THE TOWNIE
She doesn’t actually attend the col- lege. She’s finishing high school and works in the dining hall of your dorm. She saves extra French toast for you on the weekends and arranges her smoke breaks to coincide with your class schedule. She’s the perfect fuck buddy who knows where to score weed from the locals. To be on the safe side, make sure she provides two valid forms of identification before she gets naked.

 

DADDY’S LITTLE PRINCESS

She’s a cute, well-dressed, slightly chubby sorority girl who is used to hav- ing her way all the time. She won’t do anything in bed that resembles having sex with you. She can sniff out your weaknesses like a shark. The upside of dating this girl is that she always has funds to buy beer, but she makes you earn every drop by insisting you cover her volunteer shift at the homeless shelter so she can go shopping.

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