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Girls Gone Wild Blog

Friends With Benefits

Friends With Benefits

I like sex. Wait, scratch that – I love sex.

 

It’s fun, it’s (often) satisfying and (usually) free, it feels good and it beats spending hours on the treadmill to burn off those post-clubbing-4th-meal-drive-thru-super-sized calories. But like any normal girl, I hit an occasional dry spell. The combination of a recent break-up, a few late nights at work and a date who confi ded his fantasy of making out with Antonio Banderas has led to more than a few nights spent with my battery-operated friend. Most girls I know have varying tolerance levels for this period of re-virginization. For me, it’s about two months. If one of those months is February. So what do I do when my choices are between a next-door neighbor who collects porcelain unicorns and a co-worker whose screensaver is a photo of his mother? That’s when I turn to a friend. And as I turn, I take off my clothes. I’m talking about a Friend With Benefits — a bed pal, a fuck buddy, an amigovio, a booty call. FWBs seem like a simple, uncomplicated solution to the dreaded sexual dry spell, but just like everything else in life, the FWB has its highs and lows. Before you bone your BFF, take a look at the pros and cons of friends with benefits…….READ MORE

 

THE GOOD

 

No-Strings Sex
More than a one-night-stand but less than a real relationship, FWBs are all about casual
but consistent nooky. And while most of you don’t need more reasons to want more sex,
recent studies have shown serious benefits to a good shag. Sex relieves stress, boosts your mood, burns calories, augments self-esteem,  reduces pain and helps you sleep. There was a guy in college who was cute but just not my type. We became friends. After one lonely  – finals week and five shots of tequila we ended up at his place, and stayed there through Spring Break. The relationship chemistry was never there, but the sex was ridiculous. hot, simple, easy and expectation-free.

 

Experiment
It’s great to try out new and possibly embarrassing sexual techniques with your friend.
I’m talking about fingers, toes and mouths going places they’ve never been before. If it works out, you can impress your next real date. If it doesn’t work out, you and your FWB can keep practicing.

 

Maintenance-Free Loving
Dating can be fun, but the whole scene often feels like work. It takes time, effort and money to succeed. With FWBs, all those high-maintenance rules go out the window. A friend already knows what you look like, so there’s no need to spend two hours putting together an outfit and blow-drying your hair. And if it’s a true friend, they’ve probably seen you at your worst – like the time I tried a spray-on tan and ended up looking like a glass of Sunny Delight in a bikini. With an FWB, you save yourself a lot of time and trouble. Best of all, your wining-and-dining budget stays intact. The rules have already been set, the deal has already been sealed, eyes and legs are wide open.

 

Convenience
Looking for someone to date is far more tedious than actually dating – let alone looking for someone to screw. Luckily, a FWB can end that search. There’s no more flrting with randoms at the bar, no desperate attempts to buy potentials drinks and no staying till closing just to go home with the last-call dregs for a night of awkward groping and bad decisions. Your FWB is just 10 digits away.

 

Let’s Go to the Movies
Sometimes there’s nothing better than sitting on the couch in your PJs and watching old movies with a friend. Why not make sex a part of your cinematic experience? I suggest the 2008 X-rated update of the old drinking game Hi Bob. In this version, every time the actors on the screen have sex, you and your FWB do the same. I also suggest renting 9 1/2 Weeks.

 

Absence of ‘The Talk’
How do you really feel about me? Where is this going? Do you love me? Cringe much? The FWB setup is free from this kind of mood-killing question. There are no strings, no expectations, no demands, no deep conversations, no teary love letters. And to quote a few thousand R&B songs – no drama.

 

Comfort/Get Along
While FWBs are never supposed include ‘the talk,’ – one of the best parts of screwing a friend is the comfortable conversation. Who hasn’t slept with a new person only to find
that the two of you have nothing in common? The conversations are strained, you don’t feel at ease and you spend most of the night trying to muster a believable laugh track to their witless quips. With an FWB, you already know that you get along. Casual conversation comes naturally and there are no 10-minute awkward silences during brunch the next morning.

 

 

THE BAD

 

Attachment Disorder
The biggest danger of an FWB is your friend becoming too attached – ruining the true
spirit of a no-strings fuck buddy. People often enter an FWB situation with no romantic intentions, only to  nd that those feelings arrive uninvited once good sex opens the emotional doors. It’s not just the girls who develop these want-more feelings. And many people go into an FWB arrangement denying their feelings out loud while secretly hoping that the friendship will become something more. But that hardly ever happens, nor should it.

 

The Upper Hand
The continued existence of an FWB relationship depends on the liaison being balanced. But like most relationships, expect a constant, often unconscious struggle to get the upper hand. One of you will call or text more often. One of you will be less available. One of you will get the upper hand. Even if you don’t have romantic feelings for the person, you can get hurt when someone abuses their upper-hand power. And when someone has the upperhand, the other person all too often has to use  his own hand to satisfy himself.

 

Jealousy
You’re friends, so chances are high that you talk about everything – including your dating life. She tells you about the cute guy she saw at the beach, you tell her about the hottie you picked up at the bar. Great conversation when you’re friends – not so great when you’re FWBs. It’s inevitable that one of you will get jealous. And it’s all downhill from there. Goodbye fuck, goodbye buddy.

 

Future Potential Blockage
People tend to settle into an FWB routine and slowly give up looking for a real romantic
interest. Although hooking up at the end of the day with an FWB can be satisfying, the whole point is that it’s not a real relationship, so you should not get lazy about it.
And keep in mind that current FWBs can be a serious cockblock for new potentials. No self-respecting girl wants to date someone who is still sleeping with one of his friends.

 

Friendship Killer
The worst chance you take with an FWB setup is that you can ruin a really good friendship. Once an FWB relationship goes south, the friendship usually goes down with it. It’s almost impossible to salvage that comfortable platonic friendship once you’ve crossed the physical line.

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